Denser than a Black Hole
by 3.1415926535897932384626433832
Summary: Ash starts feeling weird around May and asks Brock what this feeling is... WARNING: Tons of denseness from Ash. I don't own pokemon.
1. Chapter 1

Story #4! _Denser than a Black Hole_

Giratina: Hi everyone, I'm back!

Me: Hey, since when did I invite you to come back!

Giratina: Ever since I threatened you with hyper beam...

Me: Uh... Anyways, On with the story!

**Begin Story **(Takes place during hoenn journey)

Ash sighed thinking about May. Lately, he had a weird feeling in his stomach every time he was near her. He didn't understand these feelings yet and decided to ask Brock.

"Hey Brock can I ask you something?" Ash asked to the breeder who was currently preparing another splendid meal.

"Of course Ash, What's up?" Brock said wondering what was on Ash's mind.

"Well you see I've been feeling strange around May lately" Ash said anxiously hoping that Brock would be able to tell him what the problem was.

"How exactly do you feel?" Brock asked beginning to process what was going on.

"Well I always get a weird feeling in my stomach whenever she is happy. And whenever she smiles at me I feel like my face is on fire" Ash explained.

"Oh Ash, It's pretty obvious that you like May!" Brock said excited that Ash was **_finally! _**growing up.

"Well of course I like May!" Ash said.

"Wow Ash you really are growing up, I never thought you would understand stuff like this _with your denseness_" Brock said whispering the last part.

"Why wouldn't I, I like all of my friends" Ash said confused at the breeders behavior. (Too much denseness!)

Brock facepalmed upon realizing Ash still had no clue what was going on.

"Not like that, Ash you _like, like _her" Brock said putting a lot of emphasis on like.

"Huh, what does that mean" Ash said getting more and more confused.

"It means you want her to be more than a friend" Brock said trying not to shout as he was getting angry at how dense Ash could be.

"She already is, she is my _best friend_" Ash said hoping he had solved the problem.

Brock facepalmed harder

"Ok Ash you should be able to understand this, you want her to be girlfriend" Brock said confident that Ash would get this.

"Uh, Brock but we already know that she is a girl and that she is my friend" Ash said the word girlfriend not ringing any bells.

Brock facepalmed again this time leaving a red mark on his face.

"Ash it means you love her!" Brock said frustratingly.

"Well of course Brock, I already told you that she is my best friend" Ash said wondering why Brock couldn't give him a answer that he could understand.

"IT MEANS THAT YOU WANT HER TO BE YOUR WIFE SOME DAY!" Brock shouted completely annoyed at Ash.

"What is this "wife" you speak of. Is it some sort of pokemon?"

Brock facepalmed so hard it left knocked him out unconscious. (Yep, he was that frustrated XD)

"Wow, my friends have been acting so weird every time I tell them about the problem. First I called Misty and she just started crying and saying something about ripping May's head off. Next I talked to Max who just ran off to start teasing May for some reason. And know I talk to Brock who started talking about a pokemon called a wife. I wonder if it's some sort of rare pokemon" Ash said to himself.

"Pikachu lets go try to catch a wife pokemon!" Ash said excitedly.

Pikachu sweatdropped having heard his conversation with Brock.

'Will my trainer ever learn?'

**End**

Me: Ash is so dense!

Giratina: I actually agree with you on that one

Me: Oh well, hope you like my second random oneshot!

Giratina: That's all folks!


	2. Chapter 2

Me: Hi people of this planet

Giratina: Why can't you just say 'hi' instead of that.

Me: What I said sounds way better

Giratina: As if...

Me: HEY!

Giratina: I'm only being truthful

Johnathan: Why do you two always bicker?

Me: She started it!

Giratina: Did not!

Johnathan: Since they aren't going to stop anytime soon, I'll say it. 3.1415926535897932384626433832 doesn't own pokemon

Johnathan: On with the story! (This will be the 2nd to last chapter.

Begin Chapter 2 (_Italics_= Pokemon speaking)

"Come on Pikachu! There is no time to waste! We have to find that wife pokemon!" Ash said jumping up and down, unable to contain his excitement.

"_Ash you are a dense idiot! There is no wife pokemon!"_ Pikachu exclaimed trying to control himself from thunderbolting his trainer.

"There isn't?" Ash said confused.

"_NO THERE ISN'T!"_ Pikachu screamed sending volts of electricity towards Ash who swiftly ran off to escape Pikachu's wrath.

'Gosh I wonder what is up with Pikachu. Maybe he doesn't like wife pokemon. Too bad, I really wanted to catch one' Ash thought as he continued to run down the road. After about 5 minutes he ran into... Profesor Oak?

"Professor?" Ash asked confused at why he was here.

"Ash, it's certainly nice to see you here. Is your journey going well?" Professor Oak asked.

"Um, Yeah, but what are you doing here?"

"I'm observing local patterns of the pokemon." Professor Oak explained.

"Ok, well if you aren't too busy, can you help me with a problem I'm having?" Ash asked confident that a professor would know what was wrong.

"Of course, what's going on?"

"It's May. I always feel so weird around her. Kind of like I'm going to throw up but It still feels sort of good at the same time. I never have had this feeling and I don't understand it" Ash explained.

"Well, Ash, I'm very proud of you. The things you said prove that you love her. Your certainly growing up" Professor Oak said smiling.

"What? You're sounding like Brock know. I already know I love May, she is my best friend!"

"That isn't exactly what I meant..." Professor Oak said, mentally slapping himself for not remembering Ash's IQ. (Which is still the lowest on record XD)

"What do you mean then?" Ash asked once again with a clueless look on his face.

"Well you see, when a girl and boy love eachother very much, they get married and become Husband and Wife" Professor Oak explained. (OMG, Professor Oak is giving Ash 'the talk'! XD)

"What! You mean the girl becomes a pokemon!" Ash screamed misdefining the word wife once again.

"What are you talking about?" Professor Oak asked, thinking 'Delia should have made him take that class...'

"What do you mean becoming a pokemon?" Professor Oak asked again getting 'slightly' annoyed.. But when he looked back to where Ash was, he had disappeared barely visible in the distance.

"Whenever I talk to that boy it always ends with me taking aspirin..."

Meanwhile with Ash

'Every person I talk to about the problem makes 0 sense' Ash thought as he walked back towards where he started, only to find Brock still unconscious next to which was none other than Gary Oak.

"Hey Ashy-Boy" Gary said greeting Ash.

"Don't call me that!" Ash said annoyed.

"It's tradition though" Gary said defending himself.

"I saw your grandfather earlier today" Ash said changing the subject.

"Yep, we were doing research when we found your friend on the ground. Anyways, would you like to face me and get creamed in a battle" Gary said, a cocky smile engulfing his face.

"NO, GARY! I HAPPEN TO BE BUSY!" Ash said frustratingly.

"What's with the attitude" Gary asked.

"I have this problem that no one else can understand!" Ash said getting more frustrated saying it.

"What is it?" Gary asked curiously.

Ash explained his problem and other people's reactions for the 5th time to Gary who was laughing by the end.

"What's so funny!" Ash shouted aggravated.

"You are such an idiot!" Gary said before laughing again.

"You like her romantically!" Gary said after calming down.

"What does that mean? It's like everyone else knows a whole other language that I can't learn!" (Well that is true...)

"You want to marry her! You do know what that means right" Gary responded more seriously.

"Oh! Your grandad was just saying some nonsense about a different word called married"

"Idiot! Those two words are the same thing in a different tense" Gary shouted.

"Different 'tense'?" Ash asked again.

"You never did pass that test in 2nd grade, Did you?" Gary said sighing.

"Nope, I don't get why my picture of a pokemon on the back didn't make my answers correct..."

**End Chapter**

Next Chapter: Ash finally confronts May about this...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of Denser than a Black Hole! Sorry it took so long to post, I got home super late today.

Me: It's time for the grand finale!

Me: Are you ready?

Giratina: no

Me: You had to ruin the mood

Giratina: It's what I'm here for

Me: Ok... Anyways, on with the story!

**Chapter 3**

"Ok, Ash, let me explain love" Gary said looking unhopeful at succeeding at his goal. (The fact that he's even trying this impossible goal, is amazing...)

"Gary, I know what love means" Ash said annoyed that Gary was teaching him.

"Oh really? What is it then?" Gary responded immediately. Ash just looked at him, saying nothing.

"An emotion" Ash finally responded.

"Be more specific"

"Uh..." Ash was searching over every thing he knew, and he quickly figured out he had never learned about such things.

"Ok fine! Tell me" Ash finally gave in looking over at Gary.

"Love is a powerful connection. If two people love eachother, it can be one of the best feelings ever. Love is when you will always help that person, where you will do anything to make them happy, and when you feel like the world is ending when they are sad. Love is a confusing thing. Many people don't understand it until it is too late" (*stares at Ash*)

"Wow Gary! That was pretty deep" Ash said, impressed despite only understanding less than half of it.

"So do you get it now?" Gary asked a glint of hope showing itself in his eyes.

"I guess..." Ash said still slightly unsure.

"What do you feel for May?"

"Hmm... Hold on, don't tell me..." Ash said thinking with all of his might.

"I've got nothing"

Gary was tempted to punch Ash in the face for that last part...

"Ugh! Why did I even try! Ash, just go talk to May about it" Gary said before storming off.

"Ok" Ash said, oblivious to Gary's frustration.

"Pikachu want to come with me?" Ash asked. He ended up waking Pikachu up instead...

"PIKACHU!" Pikachu shouted angrily, shocking Ash with a thunderbolt.

"AR-R-GG-H" Ash groaned before finally Pikachu stopped.

"Never mind" Ash said before limping towards their camp, where May was.

"Hi May" Ash greeted happily walking towards her.

"Hi Ash" May responded, blushing slightly...

"Ash, thank goodness you are back. I have something to tell you" May said walking closer to him.

"What's up?" Ash asked.

"Ash, I've always wanted to say something to you. Ever since we met, I had feelings for you. Overtime, those feelings became stronger, as we were together longer, and now I have only one thing to say. I love you."

"Why wouldn't you? Your my best friend?" Ash asked befuddled. (I love that word!)

"No, no, Ash I love you as more than a best friend" May explained quickly.

"What's more than a best friend?" (Apparently Brock, Prof. Oak, and Gary's talks haven't helped him...)

"A girlfriend" May defined.

"What's that?" Ash asked even more confused. May slapped Ash in the face hard, leaving a red mark. (He deserves it)

"Ow, why did you do that!"

"ASH, A GIRLFRIEND IS THE THING THAT TWO PEOPLE BECOME WHEN THEY LOVE EACH OTHER, AND EVENTUALLY BECOME HUSBAND AND WIFE" May explained, once again, fully irritated and seething in anger.

"WHAT! May I could never let you become a pokemon!" Ash exclaimed worriedly rushing over to May and holding her protectively.

May blushed, before realizing what Ash had said. "Ash, what do you mean, become a pokemon?"

"A wife is a type of pokemon" Ash responded his voice indicating he thought it was an obvious fact.

'Sometimes, I wonder why I love this boy...'

**End of Story**

Me: I might add a sequel when Ash is older and less dense, but probably won't

Giratina: That's all folks!


End file.
